He is a man you depend on.

He depends on Viagra.

He is a man you can lean on.

He leans on his trust fund.

He is a man of the people.

He hates everyone.

He is a man in a suit.

From Men’s Wearhouse.

He is a man with stock advice.

That he stole from Jim Cramer.

If he were an animal, he would be a human.

But he isn’t.

If a tree falls in a forest,

It is because of a deal made by Businessman Jones.