Businessman Jones

Finally! An outfit that perfectly matches my misogyny!

“I was going to spit in your face, but the hat will do nicely…”

“This is what I like to call ‘Taking the scenic route!’”

“To the 99%, who paid for all this!”

“Yeah, they’re sleeping on the street, living off of handouts, using the gutter as a toilet … kind of like your people, Moises!”

Shopping List:

1) Hobo repellant

2) iPhone 5 (I know a guy)

3) ‘stutes (IE: Prostitutes)

4) Magnum condoms (for my big, swinging dick!)

5) Tickets for that sold out sports game (plan to no show)

6) Rape kit

7) Bleach

8) Alibi (at least three)

9) Bald eagle meat

“Oh that’s good! Spitting on Occupy Wall Streeters makes me SO thirsty.”

“Dope! A ‘White Guy Conversion Kit!’”

“Jeez. Couldn’t the Dow have waited until after the family reunion?”

“Sweetheart? DVR Franklin & Bash, or I’ll Franklin & Bash your mouth.”